Our Life In Miles

A journey into swimming that started 2.5 years ago, hundreds of hours of preparation that followed – in the water, inside my mind, in the gym, everything culminating in this one day.. Soon to arrive upon me…

11th July 2024 – Pre Swim Jitters

I was on #2 slot in my window of 12th to 19th July. My pilot confirmed that it is a go for the 14th of July! I should meet him at the Marina at 3:30 AM. Within 72 hours I would be embarking on one of the toughest challenges that I had ever taken up in my entire life. The frenzy began…

Moral support – My mom had arrived in Dover on 9th July. She had previously come to UK last month to practice crewing on a training swim as well, to know if she can withstand being on a rocking boat for hours, without sea sickness and understand the duties of a crew. I, to be honest was very inspired seeing how religiously she was taking up this responsibility of being a crew on my Channel Swim. She was there with me at the finish line at another milestone event in my life, when I successfully completed my Half Ironman in Kolhapur last year. So, having her on the boat would definitely give me an additional morale boost ‘to do my mother proud’. And having her in Dover in the days leading up to the swim was such a bonus. We got delicious home cooked home style food for all meals 😋

The Cold Spell – I was down with a serious cold for the last 3 days, so the first thing I was panicking about was – what if this sickness becomes the reason I fail at my dream! Sucheta had strictly warned me back in January after a month of on-and-off spells of cold – sickness cannot be an excuse to skip training. Maintaining our health is as much our responsibility as is maintaining our fitness and training.. It was etched in my mind since then.. And to be honest, I didn’t fall sick for the entire 2 months I was here in UK since May. Then why the hell, did it have to happen in the week of my swim! I was cranky and on edge all the time.😕 But still gotta do what you gotta do… So began with the pre-swim preparation…

Food and stuff – I had prepared an exhaustive checklist of things to pack a few days in advance, a day before the swim, on the morning of the swim. I am quite thorough that way, with preparing to do lists and all 😅 My swim day feed was tried and tested over 2 months of swims in the Channel Waters – and it was quite a platter to be honest. Danish and my mom were all on board with what to feed, when to feed, how to feed. The feeds serve two purposes during the swim; as nutrition for sure, but also as motivation for the swimmer, to look forward to… ‘In 45 more minutes, I will be getting a bite of sweet and juicy canned peaches’💭 And this little motivation keeps you strong through toughest of waters, I must say.

My feed plan – My feed plan consisted of a mix of solids and liquids both. I had planned to take a feed once every hour for the first 4 hours. Then every 45 mins for the next 6 hours and then every 30 mins after that.

For liquids I rotated between
[1] Carbohydrate mix (Maltodextrin),
[2] Lucozade, (for instant glucose)
[3] An organic drink mix of millet flours, nuts and seeds concentrate prepared by Sucheta. I mixed these up with energy gels, electrolytes and salt capsules on regular intervals. This was my primary source of energy and nutrition.

The solids were more food for the soul..
[1] Boiled potatoes (my favorite 🌟)
[2] Bananas
[3] Jelly babies
[4] Chocolate and Vanilla Swiss Rolls
[5] Canned Peaches 😋

I also carried some backup hot chocolate powder, dhoklas, etc because I was advised always to have some extra variety, in case for any reason the standard feed doesn’t taste well. Since most of the feed is sugary in nature, sometimes too much sweetness becomes saturating for the tastebuds, and a little bit of savoury variety does wonders. Most English swimmers use black tea for that purpose. Since I don’t like tea much, I chose Dhoklas 😅

So all the packing was in order, mentally I was prepared. Just hoping for the cold to pass to be able to give a full effort on this milestone day in front of me.

13th July 2024 – The nerve wracking waiting game

My pilot messaged me with the forecast data and asked me if I was good to go. I wasn’t adept enough to understand forecasts yet. So I sent it over to my coach and mentors here in the UK who I had been training with for the past few months and who have had extensive experience swimming as well as coaching to swim the English Channel. They had advised that winds under 10mph are ideal. In the lower 10s are still alright, but anything beyond 15mph is a no go, for a solo swim. Panic began when both of them advised against swimming tomorrow. The exact words were “If you swim tomorrow, you will be unsuccessful” There was no way I was defying their advice. So I requested my pilot to let me swim on 15th instead, because the forecast looked much better. However, I’m guessing I was now put last in the Slot Priority order since I decided to not go on the day offered to me, so now I was last on the list for this week.
It was quite nerve racking to be honest, the entire night of the 13th! However I wanted to optimise my chances of a successful swim, and if I was told by my coach that I wouldn’t make it on this day, I wasn’t going to knowingly hamper my chances. I was a bit more convinced of this decision, when we saw that no other pilots went out on the 14th for a solo, only 2 relays went on the 14th.

So now it was my time to play the waiting game. Everyday I would check-in with my pilot to see if I get to go tomorrow, everyday I would see my friends and acquaintances successfully complete their swims.. On the 15th, the 17th, the 18th.. I was waiting for my chance to come (AGAIN)

I was questioning that decision on the 13th night over and over again.. ‘What if the weather was bad, How bad could it be, at least trying and failing is better than not trying at all, no?’ The waiting game was driving me nuts. We were approaching the end of my tide window, and still no hope of going out, it was 18th already.. And it was worse in my head than it would’ve been for someone who was waiting for the weather to turn favourable, because I chose to forego my chance.
Did I smother my dream with my own two hands?💭

19th July 2024 – The D-Day

Finally my turn came on the 19th, the last day of my tide window! I was to meet my pilot at the Dover Marina at 7 AM. I would’ve preferred to start in the night so I could hopefully end during daytime, but as they say – Time and Tide wait for No Man, and most swims start 2-4 hours before high tide, so 7AM it was. I re-did all the packing, regained my composure from an entire week of mental turmoil. The cold was all gone, but my periods had now arrived 😂 It was my 2nd day of the periods on 19th. But I was resolute. Nothing was going to stop me from a touch down on the French Shores today!

Getting Ready – As soon as we got on the boat, the pilot gave us safety briefing, mainly for the crew. The Channel swim is supposed to be from shore to shore. So you jump out of the boat, reach the shores in Dover, stand on the beach completely clear of water and raise your hands. It ends when you repeat this drill on reaching the French Shores. I had 15 mins to get ready before we reached Shakespeare beach, where my swim was supposed to begin. That is when the pilot blares the horn and you begin your swim. I didn’t really use any sunscreen or lanolin in my practice swims before. Mainly I used to lather vaseline in the areas where I chafed, and that had been working well for me even in the 6-11 hour swims. So I continued the same strategy and stuck to just vaseline. I had put on the lights behind my googles and swim suit before the swim start itself, so that I simply would have to rotate it to turn it on at dusk instead of spending time to put them on with shivering hands.

Idyllic Conditions – The water was a good 17 degrees. The last few months, I had been training in 14-16 degree waters. So this felt comfortable. I was thinking of my first cold water experience in Menorca, when I couldn’t withstand the chilly 15 degree waters for even an hour. I had indeed come a long way since then. The winds were practically non-existent. The ocean was absolutely still, almost like a lake. The conditions were perfect.

Effort planning – I was told that 12th hour onwards is when you really need to push and that decides if you make it or not. So I had decided to conserve some energy for the end. (A big mistake, if I think about it in retrospect) I was going at a steady yet comfortable pace throughout, (I feel I could’ve pushed more in retrospect, in the first few hours especially.)

Feed Durations – I had practised feeding within 30 seconds to minimise the time in the water that I’m not making forward progress. However, I remembered not swallowing all the feed (especially) solids when I tried to rush. Today I wanted to make sure, I was getting all the nutrition I could. But that elongated my feed times to 50-60 seconds, which I didn’t realise in the moment.

Entertainment for the swimmer – Danish and my mom had rehearsed different ways that they can entertain me during the practice swims and different signs I can make while swimming to communicate back to them without needed to stop (Single handed sign language essentially – stuff like 👍🏻👎🏻👌🏻☝🏻🤘🏻✌🏻). We had carried variety of sizes for Whiteboards, and different coloured markers to allow them to use maximum creativity for conveying messages to me in few words. Danish was very creative in playing simple quizzes, some topical jokes, some motivation and mainly he relayed messages from many friends and family who were following my swim. He and my mom were going live on Instagram every few hours, relaying the status updates and collecting messages from views and followers to relay back to me via whiteboards. It was so heartening to look at the live videos later and all the hoops they were jumping through to make sure I had the best support morally as well as logistically in the waters. I indeed had the best crew. ❤️🫶🏻

The messages from friends and family were the most effective in boosting my energy, honestly. Also, we were on a boat which had recently setup starlink to livestream the swim for the entire duration. So many folks were watching me throughout the day through YouTube live. Danish made sure he conveyed something or the other to me every 15-20 mins. To be honest, Channel swimming is a very lonely experience, but Danish has spoilt me by being such a supportive and entertaining crew and made it very interactive and entertaining for me.

Playlist – I had honestly prepared a playlist of songs to sing to keep my spirits high. However on the day, I couldn’t think of any of those songs. None of them vibed for me. I spent the entire 15 hours of the swim chanting Atharvashirsha. I must have recited it more than a 100 times for sure. It was as if I was ardently praying to God to sail me through. In retrospect I feel ashamed about it, for being the kind of person who only remembers God in times of need. But in the moment, I went with whichever song came naturally to me. Today, it was Atharvashirsha.

The swim – There was nothing novel about the swim itself, to be honest. I got calmest of the seas, I had acclimated myself to the cold well enough, I had built up the endurance to go on for however long it takes. Marc Newman had devised a very thoughtful ramp up for me in the UK over the previous 2 months to acclimate me well to the cold waters and built up my training load and endurance. I had done an 11 hour swim just 4 weeks ago. So I had mentally prepared myself saying ‘I just have to repeat what I did last month, it’s just more of the same‘ 💭 I was told based on my training swims that I should expect 15-18 hours swim time. So I went with that assumption, accounting for maybe an hour or two more beyond 18, I was mentally prepared for a 20 hour swim. It was all going swimmingly well, until it wasn’t.

The delusion – In order to give myself a sense of progress, I had asked other Channel swimmers how much distance did they actually cover during their swims. While the straight line distance from Dover to Cap Gris Nez is 21 miles (34kms) the strong perpendicular tides in the Channel make you drift sideways. They turn every six hours, making you drift to the left for the first six hours, then to the left for the next six and so on. So the actual distance covered is much more than 34 kms. Most swimmers told me they averaged between 45-50kms total swim distance. So that was what was etched in my head. By the time I cover 50kms, I should be close to the French Shores. (Turns out I had already covered 50kms when I had yet got more than 6 hours to go) Tides play a fickle game here in the Channel and the distance covered is no indicator of the progress made. I was told and had heard this before, but completely registered this only after this swim.

However, it was not all detrimental. I was wearing my watch during the swim and I had gotten used to not looking at it at all. I had set alerts for every 15 mins. So it would buzz every 15 mins giving me a sense of time passed, which really helped me keep track of when I would get my next feed. Otherwise I’m sure I would’ve been a very restless swimmer. And for getting a sense of the progress I made, I would check the distance covered once every 3-4 hours. Looking at the distance covered, I was ecstatic about the progress being made. Because in my head, 50kms would be touchdown time!

Push Hard – So at the 7th hour, when Marc asked Danish to get in and swim next to me and told me “I need you to push hard! I need a good one hour” I didn’t get why am I being asked to push, really. Aren’t I making good progress already 😕 But I followed instructions and Danish did a great job speeding my pace up as much as possible. From the 7th hour I started pushing harder, and kept up the effort till the end almost. After the 9th hour, Marc confirmed that the effort was better than before, so I kept going still ecstatic about the progress. Around the 11~12 hour mark, Danish started jumping around saying he has started seeing the French shores quite close and that motivated me to push even harder. I had started counting backwards now, every feed time, I used to try and look at the dinghy and see if they started releasing it. Because I remembered, that when you are about 200 mtrs from the French shores, they take out the smaller dinghy to escort you upto the coast, since the bigger boat can’t go as close to the shores. I was picturing myself standing at the French shores unfurling India Flag. It’s just a matter of time, I told myself…

Tides Turning – Around the 13th hour, Danish got in the waters again and said the tides are turning now, and they’re strong. It is going to be a few more hours and I need to push hard, as hard as possible. My mental maths was all disturbed. Just a few minutes ago, I was visualising myself being escorted by the dinghy into the French coast any moment, and now I had to swim for hours more. It was past sunset and as soon as the sun was down, the temperatures dropped significantly. I could feel myself shivering almost uncontrollably. But, I soon calmed myself. It’s just one day. Tomorrow I can sleep for as long as I want. I will be a Channel Swimmer tomorrow. “Pain is temporary, Failure is forever”💭. I knew the tricks to warm myself up when I started feeling cold. I had practised it over the past 2 months. I started kicking harder. I increased my stroke rate. I started clenching and unclenching my palms to avoid clawed hands.

It’s a long game – I kept going with all my might, I had convinced myself that I needed to swim at least 5-6 hours more now. Because I remembered the story of Kathy Batts, who was expecting to finish her swim within 15 hours, but by the 13th hour, she wasn’t where she should’ve reached, the tides turned and she had to swim for another 10 hours before she reached France. I was prepared to swim for even 10 hours more if needed.

However, as soon as Danish climbed out of the waters, within 15-20 mins, I was asked to come towards the back of the boat. I didn’t understand what was happening. I assumed maybe my lights might not be working, so they need replacing, maybe during the night time feeds happen from the back of the boat. So I swam in closer, assuming it’s just a slight readjustment. But what I heard next crushed me. “It’s over Vrushali, You need to get out now” I couldn’t fathom what was happening. But I knew I had to follow the pilot’s instructions. Pilot’s decision is always the final one – was the first thing we were told during our meeting with our Pilot.

What happened – After I came back up, I was shown my track, and was told that I was drifting sideways towards Calais. It is the port on the French side where swimming is not permitted due to fast moving boat traffic. I essentially was swimming out of the swimmable area of the Channel, which is demarcated for Channel swimming where the swimmers get the right of way. Outside of it, there is a high risk of being run over by ships and boats, and gets even more dangerous in the dark. It would’ve taken another 2-3 hours for me to actually reach Calais where I absolutely had to abort, but the pilot felt it would be cruel to have me punching it for 3 hours only to be pulled out at the 18 hour mark.

So for him, it was the humane thing to do to end my suffering early on, since it seemed inevitable at the time. In my head, I felt like I would’ve preferred a warning. I would have preferred an ultimatum, something. Go all out and give it all OR you will be pulled out. If I had 2-3 more hours, maybe if I was allowed those 2-3 hours to punch it out and try my hardest to beat the tides. Maybe if after that I was pulled out, I would’ve felt less aggrieved. It’s all ifs and buts now, though. Essentially I fell short, if I had made further progress ahead earlier on, this situation wouldn’t have arised in the first place.

But, I was unaware for the entire time that anything was going so wrong. Rather, I was under the assumption (read: delusional) that things were going quite well. And all of a sudden I was pulled out of the water.

The game of tides – But what really happened was I wasn’t fast enough. I didn’t make enough forward progress to be pushed by the tides into the French shores, so I would’ve had to let another 6 hour tide window to pass in order to be allowed back by the next tide window into the French shores. However, since I didn’t make enough progress towards the right either, the tide that turned on the 13th hour was pushing me strongly towards the left, towards Calais. If I was further to the right (beyond Cap Gris Nez), I would’ve stayed in the swimmable area, and maybe would’ve been able to stick it out through the turning tides.

What went wrong – I was making almost similar progress as another boat out on the same day with me. If only I had made a mile or two further forward progress, I would’ve been able to have a similar successful swim track as theirs. And I believe (now in retrospect), I shouldn’t have conserved energy in the beginning. If I had pushed harder in the first 7 hours, I would’ve been further ahead, maybe in the right position to be taken into the French shores after the tides changed at 13th hour.

Another tip I was given by the pilot was my feed duration could’ve been reduced to minimise the sideways drifting that happened when we’re not swimming forward.

And what I was told made the most difference was the tides. I wouldn’t have been stuck in the tide if it was a weaker tide day. I swam on the edge of the neap tide which was essentially the beginning of the spring tide. So the tides were stronger than they would’ve been, say on 16th or 17th July. I was told I would’ve made it if I swam on a weaker tide day.

What next – I felt like all the three pieces that went wrong this time were something I could fix immediately. Like I didn’t need another year to work on these aspects. Definitely I knew speed was my weak link, however I had overcome all the other challenges that come with Channel swimming. And I know examples of swimmers who’ve taken 20+ hours, yet successfully swum the Channel and reached France. I knew I had the endurance of punching it out for more than 20 hours, if needed. I was not ready to throw in the towel yet. I had unfinished business and I strongly believed I had it in me to get it done this year itself. So by the time the boat landed back in Dover, my mind was made. My Journey WILL Continue! I have Unfinished Business with the English Channel and I will try my best to finish it right this year!